This post starts off with what I put on Twitter and then continues on with a bunch of added commentary after the bolded line. If you already read the initial post, you might wanna skip to bold.
Accusing men with different preferences than you of being losers is a traditional male pastime, but people haven't figured out how it works with breast size yet.
When it comes to BMI, everyone knows the lines:
If you're on Team Thick, everyone who likes anorexic girls is gay or a pedophile
If you're on Team Thin, everyone who likes fat girls is broke or black (or both)
With breast size there's only one study to tell us anything, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's ever read it.
Researchers took about 100 guys and separated them into 2 groups: hungry and not hungry. Not sure why they picked hunger as a metric, but boy am I glad they did.
They showed each group 5 animated women, in order of ascending breast size, and asked them to pick which one they found most attractive. The size of breasts on the animated women could roughly be described as "non-existant," "medium," "large," "very large" and "cartoonishly gonzo."
The findings showed two trends:
- Hungry men preferred bigger breasts, regardless of income. Researchers spent a lot of time discussing the implications of this, what it might say about preference for resource acquisition, offspring, etc. I personally think the scientists were just embarrassed to point out the clear and obvious truth - hungry men wanted to breastfeed and the bigger tits looked more nutritious.
- Richer men preferred smaller breasts. Where people go wrong here (presumably because they haven't read the study) is in assuming rich men prefer "small" breasts - they prefer "smaller" breasts than poor men, but nobody preferred the smallest two sizes. The richest group preferred "large" breasts while the poorest preferred "very large."
The results explain a lot about how to operate within the current breast size argument meta
Basically, it turns out everyone likes big tits. If somebody claims to like small ones, it's one of two things:
1) You're arguing with someone on amphetamines. Given the nature of Twitter arguments this is by far the more likely option. In this case you just have to keep arguing with them for another 8-12 hours until their medications wear off. They'll get really hungry and start to agree with you.
2) You're arguing with a guy who's dating a woman with small breasts. They might not have originally been his preference, but he loves her so much it rewired his brain. Or maybe he doesn't love her, but she checks his Twitter and he's scared of the wrath she'd exhibit if she saw him disagreeing with her breasts online.
Either way, you basically have to accept a stalemate unless you can find the girl and get her to dump him.
Here ends my initial post, as it was written on Twitter, and marks the beginning of some meta-commentary I have involving the reactions. (I do some of this in my Telegram channel, too)
Some data nerds found my post, and like the joyless worms they are, they started asking for the source. I was amazed by that, because there’s really only one study that comes up when you google “breast size rich hunger.” It never even occurred to me to link it because of how obvious it was which one I was referring to, there’s not like a massive body of research on this subject.
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